a day in the life

a day in the life of me, gordon
(being for the benefit of mr kite, and my grandmother)

6-6:30 -- awaken in my luxurious sealy posturpedic queen size bed. lick myself. lick daddy awake.
6:33 -- continue to lick daddy until he gets his lazy ass out of my bed.
6:34 --suffer through daddy urinating while my bladder all the while yearns to pee free.
6:35 --go outside and relieve myself. scan for prey--birds and cats. sniff everything in the yard.
6:40 --take daddy on a run. relieve myself in other ways. watch daddy pick it up with a plastic bag...has he no shame?
7:15 --run back home, pant heavily for 40 minutes. goddamn, it's fucking hot.
8:00 --my frugal father puts 2 cups of food in my dish. wolf it down in 23 seconds. shall go hungry yet another day.
8:30 --where is daddy going all dressed up without me?
8:30-noon -- sleep. wonder where's mommy?
12:10 --daddy returns to feed his fat belly. chase the bouncy ball in the yard.
1:00 --daddy runs off again. time to do what i do best, sleep.
5:00 --daddy's back! chase the ball. go to the beach. swim in the ocean.
6:30 --2 more cups of food. must supplement caloric intake with fresh feline meat. scan for prey in bay window while daddy watches tv.
7:10 --spot annoying, tasty cat in my yard. go ape shit. daddy opens door, shines maglight on cat. go tearing after cat with amazing speed. alas, one step short again.
9:00 --take daddy on a walk. grump it up. urinate every 3 feet.
10:00 --go to bed. sprawl out again. take up 3/4 of the bed. fall asleep. dream of mommy, chasing balls, killing cats. life is good.